It’s like a bog down here man, I’m sickof­­­­­­­allthisscum and wet sand. It’s gotta lot of smells that’ll makeaman up and leave. Ya see like under this house that is, like, under the boards and the basement, Ijust be diggin man. At first it was nice, what with the family gone I could be diggin all day. And man, like my hands were cramping on that there pick handle. But since see I got that family bein here more and they got the heat on and it gets real dank. Realreal dank. But I don’t mind that much, amansgotta deal with suchandthelike. It’s the activity up there that really gets me prayin. Can’t be pickin away and such when mawandpaw lounge in the basement, or them kids be racin and foolin around. Like so I’m just sittin here next to this puddle man, prolly not good for me and, yaknow, chemicalwiseandsuch. Shouldnt breathe too hard round . . . Anyway, like I’m saying, the family always is in the basement, and aman best not dig where he’s heard.

You see, last lil tunnel I was workin me on was back up in Monticello. You don’t know where that is, but anyway, I be diggin when the foreman of this, oh yea I’m diggin under this steel mill right? so this foreman here found my little hidey hatch, where I dun started carvin paths, and this foreman he tell me I’ve goneand trespassedonprivatepropertyorsumthin. I didn’t know it counted when you went that deep, so I gotup and got my ass outta there. He was gettin to pointificaytin on some lawyer talk and the like and I didn’t plan to stick around and balk my way into some money trouble.

Yea so, here is pretty nice allthingsconsidered. I mean aside from the bogginess. You prolly like that, but I tellya I don’t. No sir ree. I mean to tell ye last night, well, ok, so you see that sheet over there, on that little ledge I mined out? So that’s were I’ve been sleepin right, now it and I was having some crazy dreams, practice-ly a snorin out my britches, and I wake up and my own sweat, shit you not, drippin back downonme! It had gone and condensated up and then rained right back down. So you see I wake coughin and wheezin in my own sweat and you know my minds tellin me: sir, yougottagetouttahere. But you see it ain’t no choice of my own right, so you know like how we got this urge to blink ya can’t fight, after a while? So I get up on my feet, and I’m near the entrance and my mind is sayin “YOU NEED AIR! AIR! AIR!” so I ain’t not gonna comply, and to my own begrudgingment I pop up into the basement and why, I tellya, it’s like heaven’s own cuppa water right down my lungs. Never have I ever gone and taken a better breathe in my life sohelpme and then some.

But you see the problem is that one of them little boys was sleeping, and, ok well I ain’t told nobody this but you right? so keep shush about it, no peepin. So the boy was on this here otto man, and his peanut-head and teeny hands be stickin out from a big ole blanket of his. But you see, the thing is, he was sleepin with his eyes open! Now, I know what you gon tell me, you gon say, well, that there boy was awake as the day, but listen Ilivetatellya that I sat there all exhasperated for a good half an hour and that boy didn’t much move a inch. NotaninchItellyou. Not an inch at all. So I get up and crawl back down here like nothin ever happen, and really it ain’t. Just been keepin my own all this time since.

Did I show you what Ibeen diggin? Here let me pickya up. Okay ya see that I’ve got three pair-lel pathageways down this side, and what I did, I mean, what had happened was that I dug one right? And then I hit water, a whole little hollow pool of it cracked in. I think I could go down and swim if I wanted to. But anyway, I can’t go much further, I mean I can’t pick no water right? So I start diggin a second, and well, I ain’t ivy league particularly so when I dig it pair-a-lel to the first to my dee-light it just end right up in the water again. Yep. Right up in it. So that’s why the last one fit so far down there, cause I sure as shit didn’t plan to risk pickin water again. Okay, let me get my galoshes and we’ll walk down it andillshowyuaround.

They just boots I got from that there previously mentioned steel mill, but still, I call em galoshes since I been using them to keep the water out. So you see there sum water on the ground here, but I ain’t pick no water this third time. Ibeen, okay look, see I’m buildin up church down this here passageway. Now before you say it, I know it ain’t as holy as the real thing, no sir ree, no way. But I reckon it’ll have a couple holes if the big man let me. So see how I architiculated it? You can’t much build up with holes and shit, so I make the whole thing opposite way round. I been praying that god ain’t have no problem with the extremeties of my design. So look we got the seats inarow here, if ya please. I always did like the old long benches they got up in them cathedrals, but like see, they’re dug in the ground now, well I guess we already in the ground . . . what would you call it . . . well anyway, so they’re kind of like trenches. And I been saying to god I’m very sorry bout the trenches, on account of their being in the war, it ain’t got no place seen in the sanctification of the church. For I don’t got much choice in the matter, I makedo with what Igot. The pulpit up here go real lowdown and what not. I spent a good day scoopin mud out that hole there before, well before water started springin up out it! So I try an take it like ole Moses did, but it ain’t exactly the same, on account of it actually bein an inpeedament instead of a blessin and shit.

I tell you if one thing worked out all right though it’s the choir, boy. So look, I dun dig them steps going down and down, and at the bottom sure enuff the water come pouring bout. So I said to myself “Heck with this, I ain’t got no right buildin a holy place outta holes,” and I went back and slept, and I was tossin and turning and I was angry asallgetout. The next morn I wake up and dress myself for another day of diggin, and as I’m walkin down passageway number three I hear a great commotion, and I get closer and I’m telling myself “Great god almighty the choir singin!” and sure enuff I walk on in and the biggest toads you ever did see were croakin and a yellin in the puddle right on down them steps! Man if my old ass wasn’t dancin that day and hoopin and hollerin along with them. They been awful quiet since, just resting I guess.

Anyway, you prolly heard enuff of me and my pointificayshun, best we start the sermon I say. Gather you got your notes prepared? That’s good, Imma just place you on down in the water now, the pulpit ain’t as scary as the real one cause they ain’t all lookin up at ye high and mighty, so don’t worry none bout givin a big speech. Yes, now just wait a minute while I go sit down, then thee floor is yours mister.

Alright! Can you hear me? I’m ready!

Begin!

. . .

. . .

Ribbit

Amen! Amen!