Introduction
The Jusitce System
¡Viva el Estado del Béisbol!
Void
QQQuest
Mauve Blood
Dog Killer
You My Mask And Me
Shit-Eater Triptych
Dream Poem
Jumper
Runner
Suburbpunk
Newlyweds
Mademoiselle
Sometimes in the Field
Vignette: A Chili April
Pinakes
Dinner
Proven Until Guilty Innocent
Bureau Barbelo
day in the life.
Prayer of the Minimum Wage Burger
That Guy’s a Murderer
For They Are the Ones Who Do the Research
Burgerpunk
Honest Work
To the Victor, the Spoils
Burgerpunk Delivers
If Things Don't End Well
Shit Yourself in Exotic Places
The Patterson Footage
Area 22
Esoteric Epstein Worship
6 Thoughts
Pretty Plain
Atop the Stone Walls
Cat in Abu Ghraib
The Tomboy Dream
Three Poems, Loosely About: Spiritual Doubt
Untitled (Dream)
The Bog Brother
Thine is the Kingdom
Is this the one?
The Only Computer Crime for Which Theologians Are Consulted
The Ineffable Draw of Madness
A Journey Through Cyberspace and Into Your Lap
Jibaku
The End

Area 22

gateway2000 || &amp 007

“How can you taste anything if you can’t smell?”


I was busy in the kitchen making biscuits.


“I don’t know, Patrice, you tell me.”


She didn’t say. I could see heat waves off the oven. It was 11:32 on a Sunday. Long night last night.


Our horrible dog kept running around and licking my legs. I put it in the backyard and threw a stick. The dog jumped and missed.


Patrice was inside eating butter out of the container with a spoon. I went into the day room and looked out the window. The clouds looked up. There was dust in the air and the window broke.


It was so loud and bright I forgot about the coffee table until it shattered. The sirens started as I hit the floor. Apparently we were prepared. I wasn’t.


I thought it was funny that UFOs looked exactly like on cartoons. Flying saucers!


Patrice was out back and the dog launched a stick up in the air with its mouth. She jumped and caught it. “What the fuck?” I ran upstairs and grabbed the shotgun. If aliens come, I’ll show up.


There was a knocking on the door. I was all sweaty. The handle turned. “Fuck, I forgot to lock the door.” A tall green man stood there. He had two little gray guys behind him. “Ayy, lmao.” They just stood there.


I unloaded two shells and they just stood there. “Ayy, lmao?” I slipped and fell back into the kitchen. They came inside. Outside through the glass door I saw Patrice and the dog. They were dancing or something. I grabbed a knife and eyed the stairs.


The aliens came into the kitchen. They opened the oven. One of the little gray guys tried to pick up the baking sheet and burnt his hand. “Ayy, lmao!” it cried out in pain. The other gray guy squirted some foam on the first one’s hand. “Ayy, lmao,” they agreed as they hugged each other. The green guy looked at me.


I put on oven mitts. I took the biscuits out. They gathered around.


The green guy placed a device over his mouth and spoke: “How can you taste anything if you can’t smell?”